This is an exceptional blog post. I resonated with it so deeply I had tears rolling down my face as I read and had the images and memories of so many occurences flashing through my memory banks.
So many times in the travels of growing to adulthood have I found myself the victim of the veiled nasty comment, the practical joke and being accused of being rude and mean.
So many times in the workplace have a felt like I have been knifed or that things are so wrong because the person who seemed least deserving but was just good at sucking up got the promotion or the credit.
Growing up I had an inner voice. It was not an inner voice that helped me negotiate the social contract with any sense of security or prowess. No it was an inner voice that told me every day in every situation that I was in fact the square peg and that the hole in fact was round and I was just different and that it was not really fair at all and that ….. well you get the picture.
So I grew up like this, I went through school like this and I have been through many jobs like this. I never seem to hold a job for more than a year or two before it all goes wrong. Normally because I can’t manage the politics and nuances of the interactions anymore. Or I have a meltdown even a minor one and burn my bridges.
Its just bloody hard work at times. At times it just feels like I have had a bloody gut ful and its just all too hard.