The autism world is filled with references, analogies, labels and words that associate it to war and warriors. There are websites call “The Autism Wars”, Warrior Moms, fighting against autism and so the list goes on.
Newsflash folks this ain’t no war.
Autistic children and adults are nothing to be warrior like against.
Autism itself is not a thing to fight, it is not waging war on anything.
This is a ridiculous construct that has been built out of a deficit, negative and less not different concept of Autism and Autistic human beings. And It really is time it just bloody well came to an end. It is not achieving anything positive for autistic people or autism services that I can see.
What it is doing though is feathering the nests of those that work for charities like Autism Speaks, who have a vested interest in propagating negative narratives around autism. The more the negative narratives prevail the more they can characterise autism in terms of epidemics and catastrophe. It makes it easier for them to tug at the heart-strings of the general public and so continue the cycle of negativity.
This is not a war, I as an autistic am not collateral damage, and neither are any children of warrior moms who falsely believe they are in a war.
This is not a war. War’s are horrible violent conflicts where people die, their limbs are blown off, bullets pierce their flesh and invade their internal organs leaving them bloody, broken and dying.
This is not a war. Let’s please move on from this negative and damaging metaphor.
Even when the so-called war is not against autistics, is not against autism per se, is not against vaccines or whatever else is the latest and greatest publicised cause of autism, it is still not a war and it is still damaging.
The other day a comment was left on an article with the claim by a mom that they were not battling autism but they called themselves a warrior mom because they had to fight against the system that denied services and accommodations for their child, they were a warrior mom because they had to battle like a warrior for the inclusion of their child in mainstream school, to get therapies and etc.
I am sorry, but no this doesn’t make you a warrior because it isn’t a war. It’s life, and life is not a war.
I get it. I understand where she is coming from. I do. I am an autistic father and I have two autistic children. I have lived a life of missing out on these things and parented with an eye always on ensuring that my kids are able to access what they need. So yes. I get it.
But, it’s still not a war and you still are not a warrior.
It would be wonderful to see those that like to claim that warrior mum label could lose it.
If websites that claim they are at war with autism could ceasefire
If not a warrior mom or a war then what?
Well it’s not a war it’s life.
And no you are not a warrior, yes you fight for your kids. What you are in fact is an advocate.
Not a warrior an advocate.
An advocate fights for the best things possible for those they represent. Surely you can align with that?
Richard, You may an excellent point in this post. So many people suggest anything they are involved with is a war, and they don’t understand the difference between a struggle, advocacy, and carnage. This is a brilliant article!
Thanks Charles. I hoped the point was valid and poignant. Appreciate your response.
You are welcome. And be assured that your point was valid, poignant, and needed!
Thank you for this, Richard. I have never liked the whole Autism warrior references – it is like people are rejecting a big part of what makes their kids THEM. Parents “fight” for their chold to be accepted in the world, yet these terms suggest that they do not accept them, either. Not all parents are like this, of course…
By calling Autism a war, we are, in some ways, declaring war on our children.
Good point! I have two autistic children. I’ve never thought of myself as a warrior mom or this as a “war against autism,” just me taking care of my kids. But I do understand why some people view such things as a fight. But you are right. Life is not a fight!
I think even fight is fair enough. But fight does not equal war. War is hell kids and adults who are autistic are not
Exactly! The language matters, because otherwise it it too easy for people to fall into a situation where they might end up seeing autistic people as the enemy, which is beyond ridiculous.
Very much so!
*child
Thanks for your comments. Always very much appreciated.
I caught a typo on my comment…should say “it is”
It is not war in itself but I can assure you that where I come from, there are many places where these children are murdered for being “special”. It is now imperative to save them so it has become war which needs education. I can understand people who claim warriorship because no matter what, you are a father. Mothers who battle with autism among other things tripled with their motherly love can never be compared with a father who has gotten used to it and sees things with no emotions whatsoever. Yes, many are making monies through this but we all have different ways of handling issues. So let them be. You are what you say you are and so are they.
Wow. Seems t the whole point here has been missed.
Not really. Wanted you to look at autism from a different perspective and stop trivializing the efforts of some. Although some are making monies out of it and some seem to claim superiority in parenting to your dismay, I believe every mother of a special child is a warrior. Chasing after them, worrying for them, caring for them all day and if they have seizures fearing they might fall and all is a mark of a parent warrior. Of course there are grades in severity but you cannot compare yourself with someone and trash their efforts. They say they are warriors, then they are. The negativity was not started by them, society who shunned them started it so fighting to be regarded is not showing negativity. Itis creating awareness and getting them adjusted.
Your logic is completely flawed. Claiming black is white does not make it so. Just as calling me an emotionless father does not make it so.
They are not warriors they are parents advocating.
Severity levels and functioning labels are irrelevant.
And whether you like it or not I as an autistic will always be more qualified to speak on it then any so called warrior mom.
Sorry if it sounded like calling you names. But sweetness, to me autism is war. Many are those who think of getting rid of their children. Those who stay to see them through are warriors. What I meant was, from the way you wrote, felt like you don’t do much to help your children. I only have one and running around all day is not something I deem normal parenting. So your adding that parents of the autistic should stop claiming they are warriors is also flawed.
You really have no idea. And awareness is bull shit. Acceptance is what’s needed not a war. It’s the war crap that creates the problem.
No Acceptance leads to acceptance. Awareness leads to nothing
It is 5:26am here. Say all you can. I may be everything you claim but I don’t share in your opinion, simple. Maybe awareness is at your end and not here in some part of Africa. Read more worldwide before generalising on a global internet. I will say good morning sweetness. Enjoy your acceptance so others will accept you. I believe we have to accept, but I believe in awareness too.
I don’t really care what time it is there. You choose to engage in commenting so don’t be concerned with the time.
Again you act in condescending ways to belittle an autistic yet at the same time you claim to believe in acceptance.
Ouch, someone is getting angrily defensive yet it is not war. Haha.
You call me emotionless. You claim you know what kind of a father I am with a clear intent to disparage me. You belittle me with terms like sweetness and accuse me of a lack of understanding of the global situation and then wonder that there is some discontent expressed.
PS: verbal diarrhoea from my hands not my mouth. You have never heard my voice. 🙂
They are your words therefore your voice.
Whatever. Have the best of the rest of your day. Got to go. I believe opinions are like noses. Today, yours, I don’t share.
I have know idea how you would come to the conclusion that i do not suffer emotionally, however, it is irrelevant and your dismissal of my very lived experience and categorising of me with the typical disparaging myths shows you clearly to care more about the title of warrior than the reality of advocating for acceptance and inclusion of autistics in all walks of life across all age groups.
It’s not only autism: everything in the U.S. now is characterized by “war speak.” There was a TV show called CUPCAKE WARS. The medical/pharma industries are all about war. Living is one big war. We’ve gone over to the “dark side” of social behavior.
And this completely supports the point Richard is making about the misuse of the term “war” and “warrior”.
http://nlte.clapway.com/2015/10/03/breaking-convention/
Trish, I wish I could comment on the site directly, but you make excellent and powerful points.
It’s good to comment here too. I didn’t have much time yesterday and published just once quickly. I’m pretty off grid with now. Things are just pretty stressed and crazy, but I always appreciate your kindness, comments and that you don’t forget us. I will try not to be such a stranger!
My site my rules. I don’t like the tone or disrespect. I deserve the right to moderate. Tyvm.
I’m sorry, I’m trying to understand this article without negative thoughts but the word “advocate” seems so Stoic and Impersonal…. I’ve never referred to myself as a warrior mom, but I will fight till my last breath for my son’s well being safety and protection. Why am I getting the feeling that this is meant to put down the tirelessly efforts that parents of autistic children endure? Isn’t It a good thing to want to fight beyond Pure exhaustion & even to the death for your child? Aren’t we all in this together to get people to accept Autism & Autistics in this world? Even if it means going through Hell to do so? I’m sure Avonte Quando’s parents are in a living Hell as we speak….I’m sure they feel like they’ve been through war, and suffered the most Horrific casualty of all! I’m just not seeing the words warrior and war as negativity towards Autism, from the parents perspective. My son is my life….my flesh and blood. If I have to suit up as a “warrior” and go to “war” to protect him so be it… I Don’t need a Medal or trophy or recognition for it either! It’s my duty!
What you say is relevant Joan, unfortunately there are many who do proclaim war against autism, they do call themselves warriors against autism. The work to silence the voices of autistics they do this with quite vindictiveness.
The term advocate may seem stoic but it is in fact the appropriate word to use in terms of getting things right for their children. It is advocacy. Advocacy can be fighting and it can feel like a battle but it is not a war.