We Âûtistics seem to bang on about language a lot. We talk about lofty ideals like identiy, acceptance, neurodiversity and the like. They are terms that need to be unpacked to be properly understood.
To make things more complicated there are politics that go with it. I’ve banged on about Identity first language a few times on this blog myself here and here and even here. It really is important. I’d like to take a few minutes to try and unpack that a bit more.
Let’s take a step back to the idea of awareness. Awareness is great but it doesn’t mean approval or acceptance. I am aware that there a speed limits on the road, however, that has no real impact of me actually accepting that they apply to me, or indeed, if they are a good and appropriate thing.
Bringing it a little closer to home, there are parents and caregivers, even so-called doctors, who are well aware of Âûtism, yet they inflict treatments such as CDMMS, Chelation, GcMaf and Stem Cell therapy on their children, and adults. That is hardly acceptance.
There are therapists that are well aware of autism, and even, so they say, aware that Âûtism is neurological difference, yet, ABA is still their treatment of choice, a treatment which has the prime goal of making the Âûtistic indiscernible from the rest of their peers. To appear neurotypical or Allistic. This is hardly acceptance.
The very idea of acceptance is one that says, you know what, you’re okay as you are. It doesn’t matter that you’re different to me, that you think different, talk different, or indeed communicate via alternative methods, it doesn’t matter that you move differently, that you experience the sensory world differently. It doesn’t matter about any of those things because you are a human person just like me, you are a human person and I am pleased to acknowledge you as that with no footnotes, no addendum, no appendices. We both just are. Yes Just human people, walking through this life together, each with our hopes, dreams, challenges, successes and false starts.
What does this actually have to do with language and identity and language? Well glad you asked actually. If we are unable to accept the preferred language of something then it most likely means we do not accept the identity itself. If someone is unwilling to accept the identity first language of Âûtistic and Neurodivevergence, then, in my view, there is a lack of acceptance of that identity.
If there is a lack of acceptance of that identity then it stands to reason that there is a lack of acceptance of that reality is a simple variance in the giant tapestry of human existence. To not accept that identity says, in fact, no Âûtism is not just a difference in neurology it is something bad, something sick, something diseased, something disordered. It says in fact, you are less or you have something that is part of you that is less.
When language such as “with Autism” or “has Autism” is insisted on it says, I don’t accept that as a fundamental part of who you are, I don’t accept that this is intricately interwoven into all parts of your being and all parts of your negotiation of this thing called life.
The Beatles said it well. Let it Be. Yes Let it Be. Oh that person is ADD, great Let it Be, oh look over there a PoC, great Let it Be. There is an Âûtistic Person, great Let it Be.
It really is a better way to go, surely. Let it Be. But sadly this does not seem to be the rhetoric we are seeing and hearing constantly in the media. We see instead stories of autism that are predominantly about disaster, epidemic, struggle and shame. We see stories of the terrible lives it must be for parents of Âûtistic kids. We see even when an article does a write up of Autistic pride, still there is paragraphs inserted to continue the disaster rhetoric:
“I would love my kids to be functioning enough to say, ‘I don’t need to be changed,’ ” said Kim Stagliano, the mother of three autistic girls and a prominent advocate of the widely discredited idea that childhood vaccines contribute to autism. Stagliano’s daughters are so impaired that she must bathe them and “tend to their monthly feminine needs.”
Neurodiversity is appealing, she said, because “it’s a more palatable way to look at a diagnosis that scares the living life out of anyone who sees it. They want to think that sound in the night is a branch against the window, not a robber. But autism is that robber.” Read the whole article on The Washington Post.
As I said even here “autism is that robber”. Not only that but yet more oxygen and exposure to the well and truly discredited and discounted myth of vaccines causing autism, or vaccines linked to autism. That’s awareness not acceptance, and it is offensive.
Yes that’s right simple autism awareness is OFFENSIVE.
We’ve had awareness, we’ve had it up to the neck. It’s acceptance. It’s inclusion, it’s being allowed to be who we are and take up our place as fully included members of society, accepted and celebrated for the greatness we bring.

Image is colourful dark letters making out the words Let Be.
Let us be. Just let us be.
It starts with language. We’ve seen it before. We’ve seen it happen before our very eyes with the gay rights movement. Language of sickness and disorder discarded and acceptance as part of society followed. Not without struggle of course, but imagine the uproar now if a mainstream media channel characterised homosexual orientation as a disease a sickness or a disorder.
Just let us be.
It starts with language.
I am Âûtistic. I am not “with autism” I don’t have ASD. I am Âûtistic.
Fantastic piece, totally agree!
Hi, What is ABA? Thanks, Jo
Hi Jo,
Thanks for your comment. ABA is an acronym for Applied Behaviour Analysis. It is often touted as the only therapy that is effective for Autism.
It is rooted in the theories of Pavlov, Skinner and Lovaas. Think Pavlovs dogs.
It’s prime goal is behaviour modification. Essentially removal of autistic traits and behaviour to enable a person for all intents and purposes to look neurotypical.
There is focus on removal of stimming and tics for example.
The focus is very much on the behaviour with minimal to no attempt to understand what is the motivation and driver for that behaviour.
It is very much not a holistic whole person approach and it is very much an approach that really does not accept the autistic person for who they are.
If you would like some further reading on this I will post some links for you.
https://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/aba/ This article is very comprehensive.
this is a video by Amythest Schaber from her excellent Ask an Autistic series.
Thank-you – that’s really very helpful. It sounds pretty awful.
Thinking some more about it, perhaps using ABA on autistic people is like modifying the behaviour of a person with arthritis to stop them limping or wincing when in pain. It does nothing to help the person, it doesn’t treat the problem or the pain/ discomfort. It just hides it. It’s a way of training someone to lie and hide their real self and real condition perhaps even for someone else’s benefit. Appalling.
Exactly. Yes. And there are links to PTSD too.
Reblogged this on ausomeautistic and commented:
Language matters, how you talk about us matters.
I have not been robbed by autism. Autism is not a robber.
I am not diseased or dysfunctional. I am Autistic.
I am autistic and disagree with, and reject, those little hats that you (and some other autistics) are putting into the letters A and U.
Further, I disagree with pride in anything which is simply inherited and not achieved. Becoming autistic wasn’t anyone’s choice — deciding to be prideful about having inherited autism is as illogically ridiculous a form of chauvinism as deciding to be proud of having inherited wealth, or poverty, or blue eyes or brown eyes.
When “authentic pride” isn’t autistic chauvinis,. I might look at it again — not before.
I mean: “When ‘autistic pride’ isn’t autism-chauvinism, I may look into it: not before.”
Autistic pride isn’t chauvinism, this is the same as any other minority group who has been told to be ashamed of who they are reclaiming it with pride. There are a few who claim so-called high-functioning autism is superior to neurotypicals (“normal”) but I think that is a reactionary mentality. It’s community-building, instead of isolation and shame. It’s not pride in just being born with something you didn’t choose, it’s in uniqueness and uniting in struggle.