TW: Discussion of Ableism and use of ableist language
I roared with laughter. Loudly. My stomach ached. Yes whether it was the Life of Brian, The Meaning of Life or Fawlty Towers. I laughed uproariously and with great fervour. I did so with no second thought to it being ableist or politically incorrect. That thought never crossed my mind. And it was wrong that it didn’t.
As a young boy, the most common non-sweary insult used between boys at my school was the terrible word “Mong” we called it to each other with impunity. And yes we knew what it was short for. We knew it was short for the ableist slur Mongoloid. But, we didn’t give it a second thought. We even knew that that word Mongoloid was a term for human persons with Downs Syndrome. Indeed, I as a young teenager whilst throwing this word around happily hopped onto a bus on a weekly basis to go and assist at the local “Special Education School” with children who were predominantly Downs Syndrome students. And it was wrong that I did this.
I am sure that many of us as we reflect on life can identify many things we have done that we are less than proud of. Things that make us cringe about how we used language to not cement an attitude of otherness to a group or demographic of people.
I confess I have in the past been one to claim and label things as just being Politically correct. I have even in recent times, within the last 12 months written posts about it, I am ashamed to say. My thinking has moved on, and I have developed a greater understanding of the reality of ableism and privilege.
I am indebted and thankful for the postings of others in helping me grow along the way. There have been many, not least of which have been , Autistic Hoya, and Cas at Un-Boxed Brain. I have not always been a good student in this regard. At times, I have needed to be dragged kicking and screaming and told in less than pleasant words that language and words I have used in fact ableist and not okay.
I writhed and resisted and called out unacceptable excuses like political correctness. I was wrong, I was immature, I was resistant to respectful language and I was advocating for a lack of dignity. I am ashamed. Today I saw this:
It stopped me in my tracks. It stopped me because it could have been me saying these things not too long ago. Again I felt somewhat ashamed. I thought to myself. Political Correct, what does that even mean. The term is bandied around so easily and without thought. It is mostly used as an excuse or justification when one is called out.
Occasionally I see the parliament on television, it makes me think there is very little about politics that can really be called correct. So what does this term politically correct actually mean. To this term, I now call bullshit.
I try now to not use ableist language. I try now to check my privilege and try not to trip over it. I fail at times, I probably always will. Especially in terms of ableist language. There are so many words in our everyday language patterns that are ableist. They don’t seem ableist at first, but that’s because we have forgotten how those words were used in the past to control and oppress groups of people. Like the word I used above beginning with M. But there are so many. Even the seemingly Innocuous word “Stupid”. Un-boxed Brain explains eloquently:
But, stupid is a commonplace word and I see it and hear it all the time everywhere. When I see it or hear it, and I know the person who has used it, I will point out that it is an ableist slur. Sometimes, people go “Oh, ok, I never knew that” and then they stop using the word.
Other times, it’s more interesting: They get defensive, they claim that there are so many offensive words that they don’t know about, so how can they be expected to be aware of all these things. They’ll say things like “If only there was a list of these words that I could refer to”. Well, there are. There are multiple lists. A simple google search using the words “list of ableist terms” will provide dozens of these lists. Here is one compiled by Autistic Hoya. – Source http://un-boxedbrain.com.au/2015/09/the-other-s-word/
That “S” word is one that is really hard to not use. I try. I know I will improve in time. As Cas, at Un-boxed brain points out there are so many of these words and this is no reason to bail out on the task. Because the task is key. It is critical in the quest to ensure that all people are treated with dignity and respect. When we are informed that a word we used is ableist it is not politically correct to stop using it and seek a different word to convey our thoughts. No, what it is is showing respect for people that have been on the receiving end of control 
and oppression by those wielding power and privilege.
I highly recommend you read this post by Autistic Hoya. I can almost guarantee it will make you uncomfortable and enlighten you on the language you have used or indeed do use, on a regular basis. I am far from perfect. I know I have a long way to go in my learning and maturation. I know I will make mistakes, I and I know I still have issues that are yet to be dealt with. I am after all a white cismale heterosexual male, an autistic one yes, but still one. I operate instinctually from a place of privilege and I must remember to check that privilege regularly.
No Mr Cleese, respectfully, political correctness is not killing comedy, but, ableism and privilege do continue to oppress and control far too many disenfranchised and disabled people!
I would here like to publicly apologise without reservation to any and all people I have hurt, or offended by way of my own ingrained ableism, by my own failure to see, acknowledge or check my privilege. I am deeply sorry for the hurt and pain I have no doubt caused you.
If you’ve made it this far, I thank you for sticking with it. Celebrate diversity and Destroy Ableism! Thanks.
I was called Witchcraft all the while I was at school as it was believed that one of my ancestors was a practitioner of the black arts despite being an albino hermaphrodite. I could indeed do magic and perform miracles that other kids couldn’t and the only other thing that set me apart from them was that I could kill myself and come back to life. I spent virtually all of the first three years of my state education isolated all day every day in a storeroom due to that, and the first week of my fourth year, being bullied to kill myself and come back four times four times, for being a witch, til I ran away from home after school, and killed myself four times and came back to life to find out if I was really a witch. The last time, I froze myself solid in an industrial cold store at 30 degrees below freezing and was pronounced dead by one of my family doctors when found by a search party, after 48 hours, and came back to life while my body was being stripped and washed for autopsy. My finger, thumb and toe nails had already shriveled up, turned grey-green and dropped off from absence of oxygen, fluids and nutrients. My parents with-held me from the state education system for the ensuing four years, and the violence and abuse didn’t stop and continued until I was 23 and had moved from my birth country, Wales, to England. There was no hiding place from the vengeance of a village of bigoted ignoramuses hell-bent on applying its eugenic dogma to me. But I wouldn’t be who I am today were it not for them. A five times Amazon Best Seller and feature writer on The Huffington Post who also appears in audio-video format on CNN iReports – so, amazingly, it was all good.
Richard so glad you wrote this and shared links . Too often words are used without the user having any real awareness of their meaning and origin. I’m sure most if not all people will have either wittingly or unwittingly used ableist language, particularly in their younger impressionable years.
I read Hoya’s piece and have made a copy of both it and the list supplied. Whilst there are terms that I have been unaware of others are all too familiar. Some of which I have applied to myself … no doubt the result of being called those terms over my life span…. I notice ” weirdo” is missing .
Many ” in phrases/words” hold within their usage the promotion of less than desirable attitudes. They may not necessarily be ableist but may convey attitudes that support the unsupportable … e.g. ‘ suck it up” what does it imply? From my point of view it says that if you feel that you have experienced an injustice well that’s just too bad and that you shouldn’t object ( posited as ” whinge”) but just accept it and ” learn” from it… learn what ? Not to object to unfair treatment etc?
There are also other over/undertones to this phrase which I’ll not take further here.
The empty phrase ” it’s all good” often the seemingly unconscious response to almost everything… and said any/everywhere… how would the homeless person, the recently bereaved , the person just retrenched with a mortgage and family to support feel about such a phrase?
These seemingly innocuous phrases may repress and/or offend… and most utterances are not necessarily intended to do harm.. it is the UNCONSCIOUS use of language, the willingness to accept without question any “in vogue expression” just as happens in the case of children using the M word you mentioned or any of the many on the list presented by Hoya.
Of course there are some people, children and adult, who do use these words/phrases with the intent to hurt/offend . Our attitudes to each other and the workings of the ” world” hinge upon the words we use yet the apologist attitude of the school yard rhyme lingers on :
” Sticks and stones will break your bones
But names will never hurt you.” so UNTRUE…. the hurt is deep and lasting, insidiously so.
Yes. To all, you have said.
As a child, that rhyme always was a disconnect for me. How it ever became a thing that was seemingly so accepted is beyond me. Or I wonder was it always a disconnect for everyone.
I think the majority of people/children were not repeatedly on the receiving end of ” name calling’ and those who were habitual name callers would and did deny that the damage was real… after all there was no blood… the aim was to hurt and hurt they did… of course there are those who followed the lead of others without malicious intent naively unaware of the consequences.
It is likely some called names, following the lead of bullies, acceptance even if only fleetingly so was their reward. So I guess there are two distinct groups … the repeatedly abused and the habitual abusers… the majority rarely falling into either group may not have recognised it as a problem, after all it was not a problem for them, yet it is this group who really holds the power in accepting by their silence . As is said ” the standards you walk by without comment are those you accept”.
These are the people, the vast majority who unthinkingly and unwittingly approve of abusive behaviours by their silence. These are the people who, hold the power… if only they’d live their life consciously, listen to their thoughts, their utterances and see what is in front of their eyes for what it is… destructive behaviours and mark them as unacceptable … lessening the prestige/ power of perpetrators .
Hi Richard, thanks for your candour and speaking out against ableism. If you are looking for more sources that break oppression in our everyday lives down, please visit everydayfeminism.com. It’s a website for intersectional feminism and has helped me a lot in getting educated on all things oppressive. Happy reading!
Thanks Peggy. I do read stuff over there at Everyday Feminism. Mostly it’s great I agree. As a Aussie bloke raised by traditional fairly chauvinist parents there is a little part of me that always feels a little funny there lol.